Worst Night's Sleep Ever!

I'm so fucking tired today it is unbelievable after I had my worst night's sleep ever. No boys and girls and Spunky Socks, Pudding isn't tired due to too much beer, cider or alcohol or any pharmaceuticals, he's tired due the evil entity that is Chinese food! Yes dear readers I hardly slept a wink thanks to my local Chinese takeaway! I worked my usual 1500-2300 shift behind the bar yesterday and when we closed up the landlord and I ordered some food as we were staving our rocks off. We devoured our spare ribs in OK sauce, chicken and sweetcorn soup and some aromatic crispy lamb with pancakes and hit the hay. I then proceeded to drink around 1.5L of water during the night, waking up every hour with stupid dreams and needing more water and then waking up needing a piss due to the water I'd drunk! Fucking chinkies and their love of MSG, cunts! But it tastes so nice!

Poker is still going shite and I'm running like a landmine victim right now and I'm trying to not let it piss me off but it's difficult when you get it all in against a fish with AK vs KT on a King high board and the cunt rivers a ten on you. Whatever can go wrong is going wrong and it's testing my nerve. For a change of pace I tried some turbo sit and goes, the $2.25 games, and 10 tabled them! LOL! I did great, winning three, coming second in another and coming third twice for a nice 76% ROI. This little run soon ended though and I've only cashed once in my next 12 games although I did win that one. When will this end? Please say soon or I might go mental, well more mental!

I spoke to Spunk Sock yesterday and told him I can't play NL10 and won't play it. My problem is I have read the forums, books and discussed hands on many levels with decent players and I just can't forget all this when I play the micro stakes and play ABC poker. It's not me. The only reason I play the micro-stakes is because I don't have the bankroll for anything higher, the reason most of the micro players play these stakes is because they are fucking shit at poker! Now I'm not a great player, far from it, but I am much better player than half of these retards but I try to play NL50-100 at the NL10 tables and it doesn't work. So I need to find a way to build my bankroll so that I can play at the higher levels and I'm going to do that through small stakes SnG's and MTT's.

Before I went to sleep last night I withdrew some of my funds from Full Tilt back to Neteller. My thinking behind this is to hit the 180 man $4.40's on PokerStars as I've had reasonable success at these and I know that if I play enough of them I can beat them consistently. Also, if I get lucky and take one or two down my bankroll will blossom overnight and I can get on with earning some decent cash from this bastard of a game! I withdrew enough to cover 40 buy-ins for the $4.40's leaving me with around $100 on Full Tilt which I will use for the $2.25 SnG's and the odd MTT $5.50 and under. I'm due about $10 from my rakeback company for last month and have so far earned $20-30 this month which will be paid next month. I was going to play the 180 man games on Full Tilt but they seem to fill up slower than an old man's bollocks despite the prize to buy-in ratio being excellent. Shame really because I prefer Full Tilt's structure over Stars' especially as the progression of the blinds is a lot smoother but you can't beat Stars for the availability of games and for how quickly they fill up.

Tomorrow is D-Day at work as I have my disciplinary at 1400. According to the letter I received I am "required to attend an interview" to discuss my manager's "concerns regarding my internet usage at work". Apparently I will have the chance to "state my case" so I have requested that I am sent all the evidence they have against me because how can I state my case when I don't know exactly what I am being charged with? If I don't receive this today I will not be attending as it won't be a fair hearing. It feels like a witch hunt to be honest after my recent disciplinary problems and I think they're going to try and tie my 3 month warning to this offence and try to force me out but it's a separate issue totally and I'll make sure it's logged as such. I'm really not bothered about the outcome of this meeting but I could really do with not getting sacked as it'll make getting a half decent job much more difficult but I do actually have the potential to be shown the door! Regardless of the outcome it's going to make working here pointless as I'll never be able to switch departments or progress upwards (not that I have any intention of doing so) and it'll also unbearable because I feel betrayed by my boss and the way the company operates. I'll never be able to be legitimately sick or late and every little thing that I do wrong will be scrutinised! The ironic thing is I was told that my boss' husband was told off a few weeks ago for being on Sky Sports, amongst others, website during the day! I guess in around 30 hours time I will be certain of my fate!

Right, my lunch half hour is almost up so I better sign it off here. I'm hoping to hit a few games tonight and if, sorry WHEN, I end up going deep I'll post something in the Railage Forum on Raise The River!

As always, thanks for reading and best of luck at the tables!