I Am A Modern Day Frank Spencer!

Oooh Betty! Well I managed to move my gear into Pud's place on Saturday but it wasn't without drama and the usual Pud bad luck that follows me around like a little black raincloud! Today my whole body aches and I have pain in muscles I didn't even know existed, my hamstrings are like violin strings and I am covered in grazes, scratches and bruises and my blood pressure is at an all time high!

I knew it was going to be one of those days when Pud Dad and I went to pick up the van and we didn't take a utility bill with us so they wouldn't let us have the fucking thing, so we had to drive back to his house to get one and go back to the van hire place. We made it to Pud Sister's house without any hiccups and loaded the sofa and chair up and drove up to my flat ready to rock and roll. When we got there Dad said there was no way on Earth they would fit up the stairs but I insisted we gave it a go and after much pulling, pushing, heaving and panting we managed to get the sofa to the top of the stairs. Which is where the bastard stayed! Because of the low ceiling on the stairs and their layout there wasn't enough room to manoeuvre the thing around so it was impossible to get it into the flat, FFS! So we had to take it back down the stairs and all the way back to my sister's in Leeds! Great start to the day!

After stopping off at Greggs for a couple of energy boosting pasties we drove to the pub and started to load up the van again. Fuck me, if I see another set of steps in the next twenty years it'll be too soon. I was up and down like a bride's nighty, no wonder my hamstrings and quads are killing me today. Halfway through loading up I had the bright idea to take the sofa from the living room of the pub because it has a bracket on it so you can split it in two so it should have fitted easily being half the size. Notice how I said should have because that cunt didn't either! Because of it's high back there wasn't enough room to turn it around so down the stairs it went and back to the pub! So for the time being Pud's Place is sofa-less! How ironic that my t-shirt said "Sofa King" on the front!

I did manage to fit my bed in which I was worried about but even this fucker is doing my head in! I assembled it and went to work at the Pub where I was joined for a few beers by Mrs P. We got a chinky on the way home and it'd been a long long day so we hit the hay as soon as we'd eaten. We'd been in bed a few minutes when there was a little thud and part of the mattress dropped down! Cunt! My bed is great but the design is wank. The wooden lats that support the mattress aren't fixed in place, instead they are kept an equal distance apart by some rubber holder which then sits on a tiny bit of metal frame and of course it like to fall off! I must have spent 30 minutes yesterday with Mrs P holding up the mattress so I could fix these lats and when I did one side the other fell off and I was getting really fucked off but we just both ended up laughing about it and I managed to fix it again. All was well until I finished my barshift last night and within 10 minutes of me laying down part of the cunt fell off again! When I woke up this morning there was more mattress on the floor than the lats but it was still comfy as fook! I'll give it another chance tonight before I take them off totally and stick the mattress on the floor!

It's been great having Mrs P there, being able to go to sleep and her be there when I wake up, I've loved it. Even Step-Pud seems to be happy because he slept right through for the first time in months last night, not a squeek out of him all night! It might be a different story tonight mind you because you know how fickle kids are. I'm looking forward to the rest of the week though because I'll get to spend time with Mrs P and step-Pud because I won't be working or living in the pub so we'll have some privacy for a change, even if we just watch TV or a DVD or something. I know my last few posts have been pretty gay but I'm just really really happy at the minute and really enjoying things and my mojo has returned and I'm pretty pleased with myself in that department! Once all the shit dies down and we can tell everyone about us it'll be even better but until then I'll enjoy our little haven away from all the prying eyes. Fingers crossed that Mrs P gets the house she's been looking at, not because then she can move out but so we can have more space as we were talking and I'll be joining her in her new pad so this move could basically have been stress for nothing! LOL! Despite my severe lack of funds I'm really enjoying life right now!

My landline gets turned on in the flat next Monday and I should have the t'tinternet around 10 days later all being well which means I should be able to start hitting the tables again and making some readies. Now my head is clear and full of positive thoughts rather than all doom and gloom I can't wait to get back into the groove and rinse those fishes! I have $20.51 sat on Stars and I'm due about $30 from rakeback on Full Tilt so my starting roll will be $50 give or take a shake. I might need the help of one of you though and do a transfer on Stars for Full Tilt cash because the minimum withdrawal on Full Tilt is $50 so I can't get this cash onto Stars which is where I'll be playing. I'm going to 6 table NL2 full ring before moving to NL5 and then NL10 by the end of December where I should be able to make a couple of hundred quid a month just by being a nit and playing sheer volume. So hopefully by this time next month my blog should be full of stories of bad beats, wreckless fish, how poker is rigged and none of this isn't life great malarky!

Two things I've been wondering about today. Why do they call a delivery by road a shipment but if it goes by see it's cargo? And also, what's the story with fat women who have small boobs? There's a woman here who obviously loves pie and cake and is the size of a bus but she has, in relative terms, tiny norks!

Thanks for reading and good luck at the tables.